second day of school was neutral.
its was one of those normal school days.
i spent most of my time reading, found this great book in class.
im not even half way through, the book is rather wordy.
too many big words that i have yet to look it up with the help on my missing dictionary. haha. :)

recess sucks to the freaking core.
i could totally go insane while waiting for recess,
but thanks to those crackers, i did fine. haha. :)
and wen the clock finally strikes 12pm headed down to the canteen
only find half of the stores were closed.
we have super greedy lower secondary students back in my school. _l_
the muslim store was only left with mee rebus, which is not my prefered food choices.
but i was hungry, i just eat it anyways. :(
some of my classmates didnt even get to eat.
and i guess our school felt super guilty that we didnt get much to eat, they gave out crackers ( with was not even nice ) for free during the last period.
though, the thought touched me deeply. HAH. not~

after school was spend with the girls.
:)
for a short while for myself, they headed to ayu's crib to hang.
i wen home as i was really sleepy and tired.
reached home, continue reading my book fell asleep till 7pm. ahaha
watched tv and im here. :)
and now im gone.
bye.

today was the first day of school.
was looking forward to meet rasyidah, but *buzzer sound she didnt came.
neither did misran. -.-

so, was super happy to finally wear the uniform and lazing around in class
gossiping plus bitching with ayu and liza.
ahaha.
not forgetting. laughing out loud.
i ought to change that if i wan to join miss singapore universe in the future.
HAHAHAHAHAHHA!
no, im for real. im planning to start laughing a lil softer.
like giggling. like 'hehehehhehehe' giggle.
and our school participated in the torch relay, it was good.
good way of wasting time.
got our new time table.

and whoever set it, is one fucktard no brainer creation from god.
we will be dead hungry by recess time , which is btw! at 12pm.
' so please have your breakfast before coming to school '
yeah, and obviously we have time for that?!

so anyways, i'll change the topic since i dont wan to go to bed angry.
i just sort of got back from watching transformers,
you guys know riigghtt? the new one.
such a hoo-haa everywhere i go. -.-
like mj's death. ( rip btw )
it was great. like double the great , great.
it was funny, sad & action pack ( follow tv's voice over thingy )
and if bumble bee was human, he will be my loveeee. hahahah :)
im gonna spoil something for you guys,
OPTIMIS PRIME DIED. :(
sad, go cry.
hahahahahahhaha

im gonna head out now.
love ya and god bless. :)

today i rot at home.
with him :)
and i honestly love him
* help me nabilah! im becoming you. ahhahaa

loving my life. hahahhahahhaha
god! i love them both.
* day dream *
justin & usher - will you marry us qifah?
qifah - totally! :)


HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
SERIOUS, IM CRUSHIN ON BOTH OF THEM MORE THEN EVER.

if i had known, wouldnt have buy you anything at all.
oh wait, i didnt
all the present you receive.
i didnt put in a cent for it.
which honestly now, i wont regret.
heck if im going to hell for doing this.

first off,
i didnt appriciate you waking me up just now.
making me do the cooking thingy.
i did it anyways cause i know you have work later on.
and you didnt appriciate that.
wanna try switching daughter for one week?
i bet you'll suffer ( interesting sight to see )
cause non of my friends out there will wake up to help their mother out the moment they wake up.
you poeple can call me a bad daughter for all you want
you're not in my shoe. you dont understand

Nagging at me even after and while im doing the work.
god. the knife could have be in your stomach by then.
reminding me not to finish up the food cause i've been doing that for most of my life.
fine i admit im that greedy.
but what you said after, was never nessesary
you told me not to get married in the future cause i got the,
selfish attitude plus im lazy.
staying single would be the best option for me ( i dont wan to end up like i know who )
what gives?!
if im going to marry someone, that someone would have known me inside out.
and if he still wan to marry me, its his choice.
and if he regret, again it his choices.
afraid if me going through a fail marriage?
look at yours first k?!

second,
you got into the nagging mood cause of food.
fine, i wont eat you food today.
nor am i talking to you.
yes, i watch tv, eat, and stare infront of the computer most of the days.
useless you said.
be fucking happy that im not always out! and asking you for money,
wen i do want to go out, you nag saying im always going out.
-.-
wen im at home, you say im a pig and how lazy i am.
JUST THE FUCK DO YOU WAN ?!
clean the freakin house? im not a maid. and i dont get paid to do so
even if i do go around doing the house work you will say
its not clean enough and i clean it up just like my face ( noticing how ugly i am )
if you are sooo concern about the people in the house not having enough food cause of me.
then i'll stop eating your food.
so you people can lead a happy and healthy lifestyle cause you have enough food to choke on and die.
_l_

the second after, you lower your tone and ask me about some letter.
god.
sick much.
i didnt understand a single word of the letter ( eventhough i did, i just said idk )
go ask you first daughter who is poly okay? she's smarter then me.
and i'll never get into a poly like you said.

you said dont make you angry.
who making who angry?!
you said if you had followed your heart, i'll be dead.
taking the knife and stabbing me ( trust me she said that )
try killing me, trust me . god doesnt love me enough to take me to ' heaven ' just yet
if i do make it through, you're going to jail. i promise.
i have this anger towards you. forever.
i know every child does, mine is different
i can go crazy thanks to this women whom i call mother.
and just fyi MOTHER, your son is as ugly as you
if you wan to complain someone is eating a hell load and making you die of hunger.
its him. have you notice the fats in the boy+girl body?

one more.
still the working issue.
youre still hoping im working every week cause of the money you'll get.
but being a hyprocrite you are, you go around whining you big ass of that you're dissapointed in me cause im still workin.
fuck it la women.
you bought me up, im a failure in your eyes.
its your failure too, not being a good mother.
bye

i changed skin !
:) pretty dull, like me.
i know macam paham HAHA
okay, my day was completely the opposite of dull.
FINALLY! met my friends.
( gosh, my post seems very boring , dont sleep ah people )

i woke up at 11am , like always.
and i have to be in school at 12pm.
i didnt even rush, cause i thought i was going to be on time.
well, i did. but i rushed abit cause my CPS(insert heart shape) was already there.
reached bus stop, we got into a dilema!
wan to buy the bread or not. haha
decided not too cause both of us sakit perot
so, continue walking to school.
and fyi peeps~ it felt weird , wearing my school uni.
still i look hot as ever. HAHAHAHAHAH tak dapat ah

so, had my oral.
i wasnt even nervous at all?..
cause i got mdm nashitaaaaaa. :)
i love her new hair ! so red, so hot, like me. AHAHAHAH.
she loved my reading , like my picture , loved my convo.
i made both of the examiner laugh okaaay.
mana mau dapat candidate buat cikgu ketaweee~
we talked about our childhood.
and i got 31/40 for the whole thing
im satisfied , but i know i can do better.

AFTER SCHOOL.
wen to mac, we were actually waiting for kari and nats.
but they were taking too long cause they were the time keeper.
eh nats eh?.
eat and all. talked loud. laughed louder.
being a considerate singaporean and customers,
we find ourself being a nuisence over there.
we left and lime at our normal place to go after school.
bored and all, we play block catching.
hahahhahahaha. fun fun fun~ :)
i was the 3rd on to get caught out of 4 of us.
huahuahua. baik kan?

feeling feeling to cam whore.
sekali cam aku batt flat la pulak.
haiyo. -.-

okay bye peeps.

Labels: i walked away, In your brown eyes

i honestly do not know how to start a post.
similar situation wen it comes to opening a sentence for composition.
well, both blogging and writting a compo works in an almost similar way.
:)

today,
i wen out with NUR SYAWALIZA BINTE ADBULLAH.
first time, since hols start.
and looks like that last too.
since hols are ending soon not much time left for each otherr, and my hols werent well spend.
stayed at home and work most of the time. -.-
no life.
and everytime i go out with her, no picture being taken.
reason? we talk to much. i dont remember any moment that we stopped talking.
okay wait, once, for 20plus mins.
cause i was sketching my d&t designs.
and yeah, she accompanied to do my d&t.
i cant study at home, too many distraction . plus having an inconsiderate mother like mine.
no work of mine will be done. pfft~

we talked ALOT.
i think, my stories and her are never ending.
from one topic lari to another resulting too..
we forget what we talking about at the first place. leading to frustration cause we cannot remember what we were blabbing about.
hahhaa. we both cuci mate for like half of the day.
i've not done that for a looooonnnggggg time. hah.
fun fun.

details? okay.
met her at 2plus pm at compass,
library to return some books of hers that she borrowed from the library,
trained to little india for threading session, ( this time mine look better comparing to the last session )
lunched at qi ji, LAKSA BABY!! nice nice.
walked to the national library,
stayed at study lounge,
did FIVE sketching,
iluma , ice cream session , old chang kee and finally home.
eat alot of junk today.
gosh!

i'll update pictures of my cousins, again, later.
bye peeps.
i got h1n1. yay no school for me. jealous?
hahahahah. * touch wood.

from this :(
to this :)

if we stay or walk away.
there's one thing that is true,
i still love you

proper updates okay?
cause i dont see anything thats gonna happen,
that will upsets me.

here is goes.
MUHD ZIKRI BIN ZAINUDIN IS A BITCH!
he bought a dslr, the screen can take out onne!!
asses.
nvm. :)
im gonna use him, like how he uses me. ahaha
*padahal tak pernah dia mempergunakan aku! HAHA.
so anywayss, im happy for you.
i'll be getting mine in, 4months? or 5?
after o's
anyways, i saw you bfffff. hakim.

for the past days i went out a lil' stay home a lil'
im not working for the whole week,
reason being i didnt ask for any shift. *dumb
anyways, i went for an attachment at jurong point.
the partners there super gerek, all funny funny.
but i shy shy. so yeah..
closing shift.
the store was pretty big in size.
they was still loads of time before the clock strike 2am.
so, smokey smokey talkey talkey homey homey.

wen out with cousins, fun of course.
they only friend i went out with during the hols was nabilah.
this ALWAYS happen during they hols.
i stay home alot!! comparing with some other friends.
i hate hols cause i turn into a no lifer. gosh~
i stay infront of the comp for like half of the day, doing nothing.

lets seee.. what else.
oh oh oh oh! i watched the proposal! 5/5!! must watch.
ghost of girlfriends past 4/5, the movie was kinda long winded.
still great though.

long enough? ahah
okay la bye.

Labels: So dont promise me

We all make mistakes
Sometimes we do desperate things
What does it prove? NOTHING
And you never do nothing wrong

Then what took you so long, took you so long
Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So dont promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So dont promise me

hello peepos.
i know i've not been updating for almost a week?
i've been rather lazy. (LIKE ALWAYS)
*kanye on teveee!
so, now i shall update.
about the most randomest stuff and places i went to for the pass days.
:)
*neyo on teevee
*keri on teevee

so, yesterday.
wen to henderson wave.
the place i've been dying to go but forgotten about that place after something happen.
:(
wen there with nini shiny, os osman bakar & lily dumb dumb.
well, basicly they are my cousin's.
im fa farker. :)
i love the place caaann!?
so high up. :)
nice view, wait! its wasnt nice it was beautiful!!
gosh!
perfect place for dating, but i bet it will be nicer night time. :)
then we went walking into some 'jungle' -.-
and it was already almost night time, so we walked fast to reach the train station before 8 or something.
then wen we were reaching the gate leading out.
i fell hard.
:(
its hurts alot. got wound one okaaay.
blood all. pfft~

during school just now, the blood oozed out through the plaster i had on
:(
pain
so anyways, pictures will be uploaded soon.
:)

not in mood for blogging.
bye,.

honestly, what you say hurt me deep down.
i dont think any mother out there would say this

' kau bernti blaja, keje sudah. '
' jangan nak masok poly pasal name and tak minat '
' kau gi ite sudah , save duit aku '
' kau jangan mimpi dapat duit extra bile kau masok poly '

you look down on me.
what you say matter, your my mother not anyone i dont give a fuck for.
its demoralizing.
you wan me to study and stop working
wen i dont work you will say ' kau tak keje?! '
what are you trying to say here?
and wen i tell you im going out to study you say ' kau gi blaja tak pernah bawak buku '
you tell me, who bring 5-10 books just to study?

and wen i say ' eh! np dekat ngan salvation army, boleh shopping '
i meant it in a _______ way.
its not like im gonna shop everyday there.
be reasonable.
you say ' aku dulu nak bende carik sendiri '
what am i doing now?
im working, i bought everything with my own money.
you? you demand money from me.

dealing with you, hell.
work? hell.
school? hell.
you make things worst.
im trying, but i cant do anything more.
you understand me mum? im trying real hard.
eventhough i dont show it.
im trying..
never good enough for you, i know.
and even the course i wan to go in to. you say no.

fuck it.
bye.

honestly,
im the type of girl who would choose someone elses happiness,
rather then mine.
i dont like seeing myself cry or anyone in fact, especially when the reason it happen was caused by someone else.
im lazy, like a pig.
i have a middle rage self esteem.
i dont think im beautiful, though he said i am. :)
though i know, my inner beauty shine miles down the road
and if telling the truth would hurt, i'd lie.
i hate being a positon where i am left to choose.
i naive at times.
you dont know the real me, never will.
im sorry.


hello there. :)
i haven not been updating in a proper way, i know.
just that im tooo lazy and too caught with something else.
my days werent that interesting.
enjoyable doh.

as you might know,
we attended all kind of seminar, which is really helpful
if i had stayed awake through out it.
i wasted my freakin edusave on this! but it was fun.
the time i spend with them was like a found treasure bein spend wisely.
whatever i meant by thaaaattt! ahaha.
im really trying hard to improve my english. :)
and mother o level is over.
now, waiting for the results to come out is another issues.
have i talked about this before?
oh well, whatever
i hope you like all those pictures.

and i can feel myself changing by the second.
i feel alot more collected now, unlike last time.
i felt that i was a mess, now.. im doind better.
i guess you need a down time in your life , to learn and grow.
:)

gtg now.
love peeps.
happy hols... not


doesnt matter how much gains, something is always lost - stefon toussaint

like i said before.
literature seminar! :) had LOADSSS OF FUN WITH THEM!
doh all keep sayin ' aku takde duit uh' hahaha. its was great.
and we been limin' non stop for the pass days. :)
thanks STEFON for influencing me with this slangs.
haha.
i miss you. :)

The sanctity i found deep in your arms
It was a false alarm and it burns, yeah, it hurts
I lie awake at night and think of what we could have been if it worked
Then i chose to go our separate ways instead of meeting each other halfway
And if i had to choose boy, i'd have you by my side.


i still do... love.