honestly, what you say hurt me deep down.
i dont think any mother out there would say this

' kau bernti blaja, keje sudah. '
' jangan nak masok poly pasal name and tak minat '
' kau gi ite sudah , save duit aku '
' kau jangan mimpi dapat duit extra bile kau masok poly '

you look down on me.
what you say matter, your my mother not anyone i dont give a fuck for.
its demoralizing.
you wan me to study and stop working
wen i dont work you will say ' kau tak keje?! '
what are you trying to say here?
and wen i tell you im going out to study you say ' kau gi blaja tak pernah bawak buku '
you tell me, who bring 5-10 books just to study?

and wen i say ' eh! np dekat ngan salvation army, boleh shopping '
i meant it in a _______ way.
its not like im gonna shop everyday there.
be reasonable.
you say ' aku dulu nak bende carik sendiri '
what am i doing now?
im working, i bought everything with my own money.
you? you demand money from me.

dealing with you, hell.
work? hell.
school? hell.
you make things worst.
im trying, but i cant do anything more.
you understand me mum? im trying real hard.
eventhough i dont show it.
im trying..
never good enough for you, i know.
and even the course i wan to go in to. you say no.

fuck it.
bye.